Loving Your Wife With Purpose

Loving Your Wife With Purpose

“He will do whatever it takes to make us holy.” Those words appear on the cover of a book entitled "The Love of God" by John MacArthur. They communicate something of the depth of God’s love for His people demonstrated in His commitment to their holiness (Romans 8:29). The process in which God makes His people holy (Christlike) is called sanctification. Sanctification is progressive by nature, empowered by God, and participated in by His people (Philippians 2:12-13). The desire and the ability to pursue holiness are God given gifts to His children and therefore God glorifying. Though there are many hindrances in the sanctification journey, there remains the guarantee of ultimate success. Completed sanctification or glorification will be realized for Christians when they see Jesus (I John 3:2). The promise of one-day seeing Jesus drives Christians forward in their progress of sanctification (3).

An important truth about sanctification is that Christians not only are engaged in an individual pursuit of holiness but are also participants in the sanctification of fellow believers. For example, it is God’s plan that the husband be an active participant in the sanctification of his wife by loving her with purpose.Christ demonstrated perfect love for His people by giving His life for them. That is how a husband is to love his wife (Ephesians 5:25). The Bible makes it clear that Christ loved his church with a sacrificial love for He “gave Himself for her” (25). His love is also a specific love. It was “for her” that “He gave Himself” (25). His love is as well a sanctifying, or purposeful, love. He gave Himself: “…that (indicating purpose) He might sanctify her and cleanse her…” “that (purpose) He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish” (26-27). The love that Christ has modeled for His church stands as the example of how a husband is to love his wife. He is to love her with a purposeful commitment to her purity. That kind of purposeful love is a sanctifying love (Ephesians 5:28). When a husband is Christ-centered in his love for his wife he participates in the fulfillment of God’s sanctifying purposes-- bringing good (well-being) to his wife and glory to God (fulfillment of ultimate purposes).Christ cherishes His church because the church is His body.

The Bible teaches that the husband and his wife are welded together in oneness (Ephesians 5:31). In fact, when a husband loves his wife he loves himself (28-29). The husband who seeks to love his wife as Christ loves the church brings glory to God, good to his wife and benefit to his own life (Ephesians 5:25-33). Though the husband participates in the sanctification of his wife only God can sanctify an individual. He has chosen to use others in that process.

What are some ways that you can be more purposeful in helping your wife to be more like Christ?

1. Nourish your own heart with the Word of God (Colossians 3:16). God uses His word to equip the man of God to lead his family (2 Timothy 3:15-17). God gives transformation, wisdom, joy, illumination, and an abundance of blessing to the person who submits to Scripture (Psalm 19:7-11). It is essential in leading your wife or children that you have God’s word in your heart (Deuteronomy 6:6). From a Scripture saturated heart that is filled with God’s Spirit (Ephesians 5:18) you should lead your family with confidence.

2. Lead your wife to God’s Word. Since God uses His word to sanctify His people, (John 17:17; Ephesians 5:26), and you are to participate in the sanctification of your wife then it stands to reason that your participation must be a Christ-centered—biblical- participation. Lovingly encourage your wife in her own personal Bible reading, study, and meditation. Work to provide her opportunity (essential for busy wives and mothers) and wisely hold her accountable. Help your wife to find answers to the questions that result from her Bible study. Read the Bible and pray with your wife. Be faithful to lead your entire family in the worship of God.

3. Love your wife uniquely by guarding your heart. Christ demonstrates a common grace to mankind in general but He has a particular love for His people (Ephesians 5:25). As you pursue holiness for your wife and yourself, be completely loyal to her. That means reserving marital affections for your wife alone. The heart of man is “prone to wander” and therefore must be kept on a biblical leash (this leash provides a God ordained arena to love your wife freely). Protect your heart by hiding God’s Word in your heart (Psalm 119:11), finding accountability with the people of God (Hebrews 10:25), seeking God in prayer, and avoiding that which feeds sinful longings. With sincerity pray: “Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things from Your law” and “Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things…” (Psalm 119:18,37).

4. Rejoice with your wife (Proverbs 5:15-20). Rejoice with your wife in your communications both verbal and physical. Get to know her dreams and let her in on your own. The Puritan, Cotton Mather, called his wife “a most lovely creature and such a gift of Heaven to me and mine that the sense thereof…dissolves me into tears of joy.” The Bible calls on the husband to be “ always enraptured with her love” (Proverbs 4:19).Loving our wives is a spiritual duty that brings godly purpose into our marriages. God has ordained that we participate in the sanctification of our wives--to pursue their purity, their best interest, and their total well being. The tool that God has provided in this blessed duty is the Word of God (John 17:17; Ephesians 5:26). The blessing that we receive reaches beyond the sanctification of our wives and includes our own sanctification. The spiritually minded husband realizes that he is daily falling short in this endeavor and humbly and prayerfully seeks God’s help. Think through these truths and meditate on the lofty calling of participating with God in the sanctification of your wife by loving her with purpose.
Ray Rhodes Jr. is founder and president of Nourished in the Word Ministries. For speaking engagements or resources please contact at 678-697-4495 or email to ray@nourishedintheword.orgNourished in the Word Copyright 1996 by Ray Rhodes Jr. All rights reserved